Romans 7:15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. (NIV)
Hello? Is this my life or what? How can I even think that I could stand before a Holy God, let alone, in some way, represent any notion, even the least bit Godly, to others?
While I have often felt that I should do some work for God, I have felt impure, tainted, stained, insignificant – and to top it off, I keep doing the things that I know that God does not want me to do and don’t do the things that I am sure God would have me to do.
Such ideas have plagued me, if not all my life, at least, all my adult life. Some time ago, I felt an inward prompting to reread the Bible and post some thoughts as I went along. In the past year and a half, I posted nine entries on my readings and none in the past six months.
Though I became an ordained minister over fifteen years ago, outside of wedding ceremonies, I have not preached since 2007.
God may have had Paul write this verse just for me.
After considerable soul searching, meditation, prayer, guilt tripping, reading, denial, and crying out to God, a particular thought has crossed my heart. If I was standing in Death Valley and some one was standing on Mount Everest, in relation to one another, the guy on Mount Everest might be a whole lot higher in the air than me. However, in a relationship to the sun, we really are about the same distance. (Though in all likelihood, we would both be in a rather precarious position),
That is how it is with us. In relation to one another, some people may be a whole lot further along on the righteous scale. In a relationship to God, none of us has much of an advantage. You see, it is not about my will, my word, my situation, my circumstance, or even my sin. It is all about God’s will, God’s Word, God’s promises, God’s love, and God’s forgiveness. Like Paul would also write, “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”
Time to press on.